Daily Graphic, Tuesday Dec.16, pg 11
Story: Rebecca Quaicoe-Duho
“Mothers-in-law! Mine told me when her son married me that when he beats me or maltreats me, I should not complain or report to anyone. In order words, she knew her son was going to beat me no matter what.
“True to my mother-in-laws expectations, my husband beat me at the least chance for more than 17 years. One day, I got fed-up and grabbed him when he was beating me. I beat him flat. I was so surprised that I could beat him and I felt sorry for having wasted all these years. All this time that he was beating me, I never reported to anyone but when I beat him, he went to the police, they laughed at him. The tables had turned. He went to report to the chief. I was called by the chief to answer for abomination. I said I would not apologise and that he could divorce me because I was fed up. His family members said if he should divorce me, they would take their dowry back. I told them that if they want their dowry back, then they should put the children I had bore him back inside my womb, restore my virginity and repair my uterus. Then I went to my father and threatened him not to return any dowry.
“The marriage was dissolved without any dowry being returned. They left the children for me to care for. Not a single ‘kobo’ from him or his family. I raised them without complaint and my daughter finished training college. Immediately she found someone to marry, my ex-husband and his people resurfaced requesting her dowry that they were using that to replace what I refused to return.
“I decided that no man would ever take me for granted. I acquired some land and when the chief heard about it, he wanted to stop me because it is an abomination for a woman to build! I said to him that I was not going to sit around for any man to build for me before I put a roof over my children’s head. I went ahead and put up the house. I am still alive. They think I am something else and call me names but actually they all admire me. The Chief even seeks my advice now and then.
“As for me, ever since I beat my husband, I have never looked back. I have not beaten anyone since but I still feel good for giving him a taste of his own medicine. Maybe that is when I found my confidence”.
This is the true story of a woman who was in an abusive marriage and was published in a research finding undertaken in 2007 by Actionaid Ghana in a book entitled Violence and HIV and AIDS: The Interface, and captioned ‘Voices of women in Northern Ghana’.
Some of the testimonies of the 122 women and 100 men captured showed that majority of them who were HIV positive contracted it in polygamous marriages, through force sex, some contracted it because they were poor and had to indulge in multiple sexual acts and some had it due to false marriages.
Disseminating the research findings in Accra, the Deputy Regional Director of Rights to Play, Ms Yaa Peprah Amekudzi, said the objective of the project was to help reduce violence against women, which according to her played a critical role in exposing women to HIV.
She said the research which was done in six districts, two in each of the three northern regions namely, Jirapa and Lawra in Upper West, Talensi and Nabdam in Upper East and Tamale and Bole in the Northern regions was also aimed at highlighting the vulnerability of women to HIV and AIDS as a result of the violence they face.
The study, she said, identified examples of possible linkages between the different types of violence against women (VAW) and the incidence of HIV and further highlighted issues such as sexual violence against women, especially forced sex which according to the research increased women’s vulnerability to HIV.
Also the research found that the fear of violence prevented women from negotiating for safe sex, adding that fear of violence such as stigmatisation, abuse and physical assault also prevented women from testing or declaring their status.
It also states that stigma and violence meted to women who tested positive have caused them to turn to commercial sex to survive.
According to respondents in the research, ignorance about women’s and people’s rights; misinterpretation of religious and cultural practices; the power gap between males and females; and disregard of the rights of women to decision and sex, among others, are all causes of violence against women as well as poverty and lack of formal education.
On the consequences of violence against women in the community, the research identified that there was no considerable differentiation on the level of impact of violence against women on the community.
It said about 80 per cent of respondents said VAW retarded development in all facets, namely social, economic and political and therefore called for a holistic approach towards addressing violence.
In its recommendations which covered policy, programming, monitoring and evaluation, the research targeted key players such as religious bodies, chiefs and traditional authorities, non-governmental organisations and community members.
To further give impetus to addressing violence and HIV, the report made recommendations on advocacy strategies as well as how these strategies would be monitored for effectiveness and efficiency.
A Human Resource and International Development Expert, Mrs Lilly H. Bonney, who chaired the dissemination exercise, said it was time for the country to look at issues of culture and tradition, saying that no matter the level of education of people, culture and tradition still played an important role in their lives.
She also called for the leadership skills of women to be developed so that they could help in the general well-being of other women.
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